In the version from Google Translate, "
trop souvent" adds a notion of frequency like "
too often" would, "avant" is shoehorned as a misplaced compulsory match for "
before" when "
too many times before" already felt like a ready-made phrase at this point.
In yours, "salua" would likely pass as a greeting, while "excessivement" would rather refer to the silly moves she made. Definitely harder to read for me.
I agree the "before" is the hard part to get right, I process "too many times before" as "too many times already", emphasis on reaching that number of times, given the song's context. Maybe we should treat "said […] before" as a smoothest form of "had said […]" to sing.
I'd go for "Elle a tant de fois dit au revoir" (9 syllabes).
Change my French mind.
In yours, "salua" would likely pass as a greeting, while "excessivement" would rather refer to the silly moves she made. Definitely harder to read for me.
I agree the "before" is the hard part to get right, I process "too many times before" as "too many times already", emphasis on reaching that number of times, given the song's context. Maybe we should treat "said […] before" as a smoothest form of "had said […]" to sing.
I'd go for "Elle a tant de fois dit au revoir" (9 syllabes).
Change my French mind.