I think it is all about what you can afford close to your work. If you are early on in your career in the bay area you are very likely living in an apartment building. Maybe you get a few friends together and rent a house.
I've lived in both poorly built apartments and very nice new concrete walled ones where you can't hear your neighbors at all.
To your point, under engineered buildings are a serious concern. Ex: I lived in library gardens in Berkeley before they had the balcony collapse in 2015 which killed 6 students.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berkeley_balcony_collapse
I've lived in both poorly built apartments and very nice new concrete walled ones where you can't hear your neighbors at all.
To your point, under engineered buildings are a serious concern. Ex: I lived in library gardens in Berkeley before they had the balcony collapse in 2015 which killed 6 students. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berkeley_balcony_collapse