Either you have too high expectations of yourself or you are not grasping the problem/syllabus . It could also be adhd, at this point not enough information. Taking initiative normally happens by itself, it's like your natural ability to prove you understand the issue and express the solution / work just happens.
Do you struggle with everything, even non course related stuff, did you struggle with this in school (different subjects)
Do you struggle with everything, even non course related stuff, did you struggle with this in school (different subjects)