This is something I've been struggling with myself. I remember how easy it was to just kill time with friends in high school, but now as an adult it feels so much harder. Thankfully, I think I've found a solution (or at least part of one): poker. Poker is like social crack. It makes players directly engage with each other, acts as a conversational centerpiece, and provides the perfect backdrop for shooting the shit. You start talking a smack after winning a hand, your buddy fires back, and people start laughing. Someone starts a sentence with "that reminds me of..." and suddenly you're all hanging out. As people get more comfortable (and inebriated) the game slows down. Add in some music or a game on TV, some snacks, drinks, and maybe some weed, and the entire experience becomes sublime. It's also easy to invite new people. Maybe you've always thought your coworker was a cool guy, but you've never been able to find a non-awkward way to start the transition from work-friends to just friends. With poker it's as easy as "hey, I'm hosting a poker game this Friday. Want to come?"
I was inspired by my Dad; he and his poker buddies (mostly other dads in the neighborhood) have been playing together for over a decade. They take trips to cities like Vegas every couple of years for milestones like 50th birthdays, and occasionally meet up on lazy sundays at sports bars. I started my own poker group with my friends after my dad brought me to one of his games.
A few tips for your first game:
- make sure at least one person has the rules down pat
- play with a small amount of money at stake (I do a $20 buy in). Without money on the line it's way to easy for people to lose interest and play recklessly, derailing the game
- start the game late if you're worried about the group not gelling together. Starting late (I'd recommend 9 pm, YMMV) makes it feel more intimate, lessens the pressure to sustain a good time for hours, and reduces the suffering if the game flops
- if the game is a success reach out within a couple of days to schedule the next one
- you only need about two friends to put together a poker game. If they each bring a buddy then you've got a 5 person game
I was inspired by my Dad; he and his poker buddies (mostly other dads in the neighborhood) have been playing together for over a decade. They take trips to cities like Vegas every couple of years for milestones like 50th birthdays, and occasionally meet up on lazy sundays at sports bars. I started my own poker group with my friends after my dad brought me to one of his games.
A few tips for your first game: