The last few blog posts I've written have been very successful. The more that happens, the less desire I feel to write because I'll compare whatever I do next to that recent success. If it doesn't do as well, I've failed.
I've been doing improv comedy for the past few years. Improv is a pretty constant source of upsetting insight into myself. I've recently discovered just how much of my capacity for play and experimentation is locked behind a door called "Don't disappoint anyone" (Or they'll reject you forever). I know its silly - the more I'm afraid of looking like a fool, the worse my improv is. The less I write or draw, or experiment on the piano. I know consciously that playing it safe isn't actually helping, but I can't seem to shake the habit. Its been really devastating to notice the sheer amount of myself caught in this trap. I feel stuck.
Putting myself out there with my creative work - in any of its forms - and just letting the world judge me for me? Its terrifying.
The last few blog posts I've written have been very successful. The more that happens, the less desire I feel to write because I'll compare whatever I do next to that recent success. If it doesn't do as well, I've failed.
I've been doing improv comedy for the past few years. Improv is a pretty constant source of upsetting insight into myself. I've recently discovered just how much of my capacity for play and experimentation is locked behind a door called "Don't disappoint anyone" (Or they'll reject you forever). I know its silly - the more I'm afraid of looking like a fool, the worse my improv is. The less I write or draw, or experiment on the piano. I know consciously that playing it safe isn't actually helping, but I can't seem to shake the habit. Its been really devastating to notice the sheer amount of myself caught in this trap. I feel stuck.
Putting myself out there with my creative work - in any of its forms - and just letting the world judge me for me? Its terrifying.