I live a pretty confusing life. I am sure that something is wrong.
I'm 35 and since the birth of my daughter I feel even more apart from "normal" behavior than before.
I have had several different therapists and autism has always been ruled out. My behavior is attributed to my intelligence. But I don't believe that.
I have approached problems methodically and functionally for as long as I can remember. I am infatuated with problem solving.
I find maintaining social interactions and simple friendships not easy and rather exhausting.
Approaching strangers is extremely difficult for me.
I have noticed over the years that I am not only very systematic at work, but also with people.
At the same time I have impulsive emotional outbursts for the most trivial reasons. For example, it can be that I have to go to someone to deliver something. Or partly shopping and asking for something. Or a screaming child. I can handle most things by now. I still don't like to go shopping, but I do it because I have learned to position myself differently with my thoughts.
I have learned to act, I can talk and behave in the best social manner. I have only been able to read people well since I was about 16. I have a library of behavior patterns in my head and try to deduce something from them.
Now as a father, the world looks very different. Every day I am confronted with a screaming child, it whines or it laughs. What I have to say is that I am not cold and I love my child. But I can not cope with many things.
I realize how much my analytical approach brings nothing. I try to comfort and play. But what I noticed made me think.
It always feels like a new problem, I can't get used to it. Everyone who has a child knows that it is a similar game every day. But I find it hard to understand the behavior. Sure I understand why kids scream, I know they have no other way to express themselves. I understand that a child has needs and I give her as much love as I can.
But in the back of my mind I always have the problem that needs to be solved. Which prevents me from accepting it and developing a routine.
So what is wrong? Or are all people like that?
Why on hackernews?
I had already tried about others. Social networks to achieve something, but unfortunately I did not find an adequate answer.
Since I am here often, I know about the great community and just hope for understanding and not so much for a concrete answer. Maybe someone is going through the same thing.
About myself:
I have been in therapy for other reasons. I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety. Which also narrow down to social interactions.
I am a happy person. I do not have depression. Our child is doing great and we are also very happy with each other.
Why anonymous?
For internet reasons.
I'm 35 and since the birth of my daughter I feel even more apart from "normal" behavior than before.
I have had several different therapists and autism has always been ruled out. My behavior is attributed to my intelligence. But I don't believe that.
I have approached problems methodically and functionally for as long as I can remember. I am infatuated with problem solving.
I find maintaining social interactions and simple friendships not easy and rather exhausting.
Approaching strangers is extremely difficult for me.
I have noticed over the years that I am not only very systematic at work, but also with people.
At the same time I have impulsive emotional outbursts for the most trivial reasons. For example, it can be that I have to go to someone to deliver something. Or partly shopping and asking for something. Or a screaming child. I can handle most things by now. I still don't like to go shopping, but I do it because I have learned to position myself differently with my thoughts.
I have learned to act, I can talk and behave in the best social manner. I have only been able to read people well since I was about 16. I have a library of behavior patterns in my head and try to deduce something from them.
Now as a father, the world looks very different. Every day I am confronted with a screaming child, it whines or it laughs. What I have to say is that I am not cold and I love my child. But I can not cope with many things.
I realize how much my analytical approach brings nothing. I try to comfort and play. But what I noticed made me think.
It always feels like a new problem, I can't get used to it. Everyone who has a child knows that it is a similar game every day. But I find it hard to understand the behavior. Sure I understand why kids scream, I know they have no other way to express themselves. I understand that a child has needs and I give her as much love as I can.
But in the back of my mind I always have the problem that needs to be solved. Which prevents me from accepting it and developing a routine.
So what is wrong? Or are all people like that?
Why on hackernews? I had already tried about others. Social networks to achieve something, but unfortunately I did not find an adequate answer.
Since I am here often, I know about the great community and just hope for understanding and not so much for a concrete answer. Maybe someone is going through the same thing.
About myself: I have been in therapy for other reasons. I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety. Which also narrow down to social interactions.
I am a happy person. I do not have depression. Our child is doing great and we are also very happy with each other.
Why anonymous? For internet reasons.