I am 42, single, similar situation. I was in a pretty dark place around 38 or so. I happened to read "man's search for meaning" by victor frankl and it honestly helped A LOT. When we are young and nature is working for our benefit, we should search for happiness. Beyond that, we need to search for meaning.
There are 2 meanings implicit and third one you can pursue. 1) Search for meaning is meaningful itself.
2) Human life has intrinsic meaning. I dont agree with nihilism that life has no meaning. Life has no 'given' meaning - correct. But since we are conscious, there is a living being going through experiences, there is intrinsic meaning to human life. Consciousness gives meaning to everything. In absence of consciousness, nothing has meaning. This intrinsic meaning is irrespective of life success. Even for a complete failure, since a real living being went through this life, the life still has meaning.
3) External meaning. This is related to success happiness relationships helping others etc. This is a bit fragile, since if you lose these things then you lose meaning. And if you are not successful, life might feel meaningless.
A healthy life is a balance of pursuing external meaning and accepting and giving value to internal meaning.
It is not happiness vs meaning. happiness is one of the things that gives meaning to human life.
Wish you all the best.
There are 2 meanings implicit and third one you can pursue. 1) Search for meaning is meaningful itself.
2) Human life has intrinsic meaning. I dont agree with nihilism that life has no meaning. Life has no 'given' meaning - correct. But since we are conscious, there is a living being going through experiences, there is intrinsic meaning to human life. Consciousness gives meaning to everything. In absence of consciousness, nothing has meaning. This intrinsic meaning is irrespective of life success. Even for a complete failure, since a real living being went through this life, the life still has meaning.
3) External meaning. This is related to success happiness relationships helping others etc. This is a bit fragile, since if you lose these things then you lose meaning. And if you are not successful, life might feel meaningless.
A healthy life is a balance of pursuing external meaning and accepting and giving value to internal meaning.
It is not happiness vs meaning. happiness is one of the things that gives meaning to human life.
Wish you all the best.