I am not in academia - but the meetings you have described reminded me of the meetings I had during my PhD years. I was supposed to attend 1 or 2 meetings every year in different cities in France (it was joint work between different teams from different french labs). Your first realization (where nothing gets solved, no one to make final decision) was also my experience while attending those meetings.
Reading your post - it seems to me that you are not happy with kind of collegues/peers you are working with ("someone has to cover for someone else, people with larger ego can get other to do part of their job").
Whether you stay in academia or go to industry - you are likely to encounter the same problem depending upon the quality of peers around you.
If you are passionate about research, try moving towards top-tier european universities/labs (ecole polytechnique, tum). I feel that the research is more directed and you will have better peers.
Reading your post - it seems to me that you are not happy with kind of collegues/peers you are working with ("someone has to cover for someone else, people with larger ego can get other to do part of their job").
Whether you stay in academia or go to industry - you are likely to encounter the same problem depending upon the quality of peers around you.
If you are passionate about research, try moving towards top-tier european universities/labs (ecole polytechnique, tum). I feel that the research is more directed and you will have better peers.