You put all pains on the same level when, by definition, each person's pain is relative. It's relative to each individual's past experiences, sensitivity, life circumstances and so many more facts.
That's my definition of empathy: being able to understand that, no matter what the appearances or what I think I know, a lot goes into one's shaping of an idea/opinion on any topic. Life and death more than any other.
Also, remember that it's not all about you. Your anger toward somebody else's actions does not grant you any right to judge.
Also, remember that it's not all about you. Your anger toward somebody else's actions does not grant you any right to judge.