My god, this sounds so much like me!
Although I'm not always miserable, only I'd always done well in school except for the last two years when everything just got very, very boring.
I graduate this year, and everything you've said in:
> At 16 I found myself thinking seriously about killing myself. I spent more than one night at my sink with a kitchen knife at my wrist wondering if I should go ahead and make the cut or not. It was not a good place to be. I was saved by my music, and ability to experience frisson (as weird as it sounds).
I did plenty of extracurricular I suppose, just none that would work on a university application.
Kids who succeeded in school were "losers" (I mistakenly thought), since they didn't have the inner light that led to self-creation (or so I thought). Regurgitation of endless facts and conforming to what the teachers wanted did not impress me.
Despite being extraordinarily bright, I was also hopelessly naive.
Applies to me.
Could you please tell me how you got yourself out of this?
I'm quite desperate here.
I graduate this year, and everything you've said in: > At 16 I found myself thinking seriously about killing myself. I spent more than one night at my sink with a kitchen knife at my wrist wondering if I should go ahead and make the cut or not. It was not a good place to be. I was saved by my music, and ability to experience frisson (as weird as it sounds). I did plenty of extracurricular I suppose, just none that would work on a university application. Kids who succeeded in school were "losers" (I mistakenly thought), since they didn't have the inner light that led to self-creation (or so I thought). Regurgitation of endless facts and conforming to what the teachers wanted did not impress me. Despite being extraordinarily bright, I was also hopelessly naive. Applies to me.
Could you please tell me how you got yourself out of this? I'm quite desperate here.