Comment by edw519

I found the "Alternative careers" hilarious.

My version:

  Your code sucks.
  Alternative careers: "Do you want fries with that?"

OP's version:

  1. Inability to determine the order of program execution
  Alternative careers: Electrician, Plumber, Architect, Civil engineer
  
  2. Insufficient ability to think abstractly
  Alternative careers: Contract negotiator, Method actor
  
  3. Collyer Brothers syndrome
  Alternative careers: Antique dealer, Bag lady
  
  4. Dysfunctional sense of causality
  Alternative careers: Playing the slot machines in Vegas
  
  5. Indifference to outcomes
  Alternative careers: Debt collection, Telemarketing

So the real test of a good programmer is one who can write a routine that crawls the source code of a bad programmer and tells them what they should really be doing.