Throwing myself out there, getting rejected and snubbed otherwise slapped around a lot .. until I slowly started to figure out how to observe "normal, healthy" people and learn from them.
Among the things we learn is -- that we are much more "plastic" (and able to change by sheer force of will) than we initially thought. Things like hygiene, posture, clarity of speech (such that people can at least understand us) and tonal confidence are, for many of us, simply matters of bad habit that can be unlearned and their negative effects reversed, over time.
The more we improve ourselves in these basic areas, the better we feel about ourselves... and soon enough people notice, and over time it becomes not only gets easier but starts to feel natural. Not instantly but... over time. Until the day comes when you stop thinking (so much) about how "awkward" you are, and instead you're thinking about your new life, your new friends, your hot new relationship, your awesome new day job (if that matters), etc.
That and two other tips: (1) Taking the plunge, and moving to a totally new geographic area (or even just getting a different, much better place in the city where you live) can do wonders; as does (2) Paradoxically, not giving an F about what other people think. That is to say, acknowledging that it matters to some degree, on a certain level ... but in the scheme of things, it also just doesn't matter. Which helps you relax and feel confident (which does a lot to ameliorate the negative perceptions people have of you).
Among the things we learn is -- that we are much more "plastic" (and able to change by sheer force of will) than we initially thought. Things like hygiene, posture, clarity of speech (such that people can at least understand us) and tonal confidence are, for many of us, simply matters of bad habit that can be unlearned and their negative effects reversed, over time.
The more we improve ourselves in these basic areas, the better we feel about ourselves... and soon enough people notice, and over time it becomes not only gets easier but starts to feel natural. Not instantly but... over time. Until the day comes when you stop thinking (so much) about how "awkward" you are, and instead you're thinking about your new life, your new friends, your hot new relationship, your awesome new day job (if that matters), etc.
That and two other tips: (1) Taking the plunge, and moving to a totally new geographic area (or even just getting a different, much better place in the city where you live) can do wonders; as does (2) Paradoxically, not giving an F about what other people think. That is to say, acknowledging that it matters to some degree, on a certain level ... but in the scheme of things, it also just doesn't matter. Which helps you relax and feel confident (which does a lot to ameliorate the negative perceptions people have of you).