ADHD has certain symptoms that can lead your significant other to believe you're a (socio?)psychopath:
- First, folks with ADHD tend to lack empathy. It's ironic because we also tend to be very sensitive to others' emotions, leading us to think that we are feeling empathy. It's not.
- Second, we have an absentmindedness that leads non-ADHD spouses to tear their hair. They often feel you're deliberately ignoring them. We often cover up for ourselves with pointless, white lies. Spouses can come to believe that you are perpetually dishonest.
- Third, we're impulsive. That leads us to do things we shouldn't. We also can't help ourselves from doing many things our sig others ask us not to do.
Besides that, our impaired executive function means we have extremely poor awareness time. On a short time frame, folks with ADHD are almost always late to every type of event. On a long time frame, we can be very poor savers and bad at planning for far-in-the-future events like retirement. Untreated, someone with ADHD will unfairly burden their spouse with all the planning in the household.
I found that a combination of medication, practicing mindfulness, and even having a mere awareness of your tendencies wins you 90% of the battle.
I've been in a relationship and now marriage for almost 15 years now – I cannot imagine what it would be like maintaining this thing without acknowledging the gravity of ADHD on many aspects of the relationship.
- First, folks with ADHD tend to lack empathy. It's ironic because we also tend to be very sensitive to others' emotions, leading us to think that we are feeling empathy. It's not.
- Second, we have an absentmindedness that leads non-ADHD spouses to tear their hair. They often feel you're deliberately ignoring them. We often cover up for ourselves with pointless, white lies. Spouses can come to believe that you are perpetually dishonest.
- Third, we're impulsive. That leads us to do things we shouldn't. We also can't help ourselves from doing many things our sig others ask us not to do.
Besides that, our impaired executive function means we have extremely poor awareness time. On a short time frame, folks with ADHD are almost always late to every type of event. On a long time frame, we can be very poor savers and bad at planning for far-in-the-future events like retirement. Untreated, someone with ADHD will unfairly burden their spouse with all the planning in the household.
I found that a combination of medication, practicing mindfulness, and even having a mere awareness of your tendencies wins you 90% of the battle.
I've been in a relationship and now marriage for almost 15 years now – I cannot imagine what it would be like maintaining this thing without acknowledging the gravity of ADHD on many aspects of the relationship.