This is a total long shot, but what you’re describing sounds like gender dyphoria.
I’m not saying you have it. But, you should be on the lookout for fundamental ways that you’re not being true to yourself. You may be living your life to meet the expectations of others instead of optimizing for your own happiness.
I’m not saying you have it. But, you should be on the lookout for fundamental ways that you’re not being true to yourself. You may be living your life to meet the expectations of others instead of optimizing for your own happiness.