In the last 2-3 months I've been trying to not get too distracted with the internet/video games/online porn and I have had moments of boredom where I actually can think about what I want in life.
That gave me a moment of revelation: I actually don't want to have kids or be a family guy. I am not comfortable during family gatherings such as Christmas, never have been, and actually I am very happy being on my own. After deciding that, I started to question, why am I married in the first place? Not having children kind of defeats the purpose of monogamy and enduring the hardships of a marriage. I also don't love my partner anymore and I think she doesn't truly love me either. The lust, romance, etc faded after the first 2 years.
When my girlfriend went to visit her parents for a week in another city and left me alone in our house, I was the happiest I have been in years. I also felt very very happy once I decided I wanted a divorce and the only question left was the how. I even fantasized my wife cheating on me so I can divorce for a good reason and save face. I told my best friend it would be the best day of my life if that happened.
Also since she is young, I think she still has time to find anther man and have a family with another. The biological clock is ticking for her and I don't want to waste more years of her life.
That gave me a moment of revelation: I actually don't want to have kids or be a family guy. I am not comfortable during family gatherings such as Christmas, never have been, and actually I am very happy being on my own. After deciding that, I started to question, why am I married in the first place? Not having children kind of defeats the purpose of monogamy and enduring the hardships of a marriage. I also don't love my partner anymore and I think she doesn't truly love me either. The lust, romance, etc faded after the first 2 years.
When my girlfriend went to visit her parents for a week in another city and left me alone in our house, I was the happiest I have been in years. I also felt very very happy once I decided I wanted a divorce and the only question left was the how. I even fantasized my wife cheating on me so I can divorce for a good reason and save face. I told my best friend it would be the best day of my life if that happened.
Also since she is young, I think she still has time to find anther man and have a family with another. The biological clock is ticking for her and I don't want to waste more years of her life.