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Comment by JshWright

This likely isn't relevant to you OP, but perhaps for someone else who is a little earlier in the process here.

I'm in my late 30's and my parents are in their early 60's (Dad will be retiring next year). Two years ago we decided move into a multi-generational home. We found a place big enough for our family of 5, in addition to an "in-law" apartment big enough for my parents.

This was born directly out of my parents' experience dealing with a very difficult aging/end of life process for my grandfather. We realized that the best approach would be to get well ahead of things (assuming a normal aging progression, we're a couple decades ahead of the issue).

Obviously this was hugely specific to our situation, and wouldn't be an option for the majority of families, but it has worked very well for us so far, and hopefully will simplify a lot of the future.

Just a handful of the specifics that have allowed this to work for us:

* Both my wife and I have a very good relationship with my parents (my wife and my mom especially are very close)

* I have a background in healthcare and don't have any concerns about participating in end-of-life care when the time comes (we certainly plan to bring in external help for day to day stuff)

* We have young kids and my mom especially relishes being able to spend time with them. Obviously we're not accounting it for it hourly or anything, but the general approach we're taking is "You're helping us take care of the kids now, and we'll help take care of you when the time comes"

* We live in Central New York, a place with pretty cheap real estate, so it was reasonable for us (on a single software developer's salary) to buy a big enough place (4 bedroom home on our side, in addition to their apartment). The home we found was pretty ideal, with two separate living spaces/kitchens/etc. The only common area that connects the two is the laundry room.

So yeah, pretty specific circumstances that allowed us to do this, but I'd be happy to chat with anyone considering a similar plan.

parent JshWright 4 years ago

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