Having struggled with ADHD and ASD for my professional life, I strongly identify with this.
I'll go further and say I tried using "show them how smart you are" as a substitute for trust.
Even when I got over my arrogance and did this in a compassionate way to build others up instead of tearing them down, it never quite worked. I always had to put in at least 3x the effort of anyone else to keep the relationship stable.
I did learn to trust people too, but I was always explicit, never implicitly.
I think I "get it" now (about to turn 41), and I can start to allow myself to be implicitly vulnerable around people and begin to trust them implicitly, but I only learned this, this week so time will tell.
I'll go further and say I tried using "show them how smart you are" as a substitute for trust.
Even when I got over my arrogance and did this in a compassionate way to build others up instead of tearing them down, it never quite worked. I always had to put in at least 3x the effort of anyone else to keep the relationship stable.
I did learn to trust people too, but I was always explicit, never implicitly.
I think I "get it" now (about to turn 41), and I can start to allow myself to be implicitly vulnerable around people and begin to trust them implicitly, but I only learned this, this week so time will tell.