> It's actually quite a modern idea that instead of controlling your own response to someone, you are better off responding as poorly as possible and blaming the person who you're responding to "for making you do it".
I disagree. Almost no human behaviors are "modern" -- sometimes frustratingly so.
Historically, authorities would often blame those they subjugated for "making them" do something (monarchs, jailers, armies, etc.) It's also a very common model of spousal abuse.
In general, it's easier to blame someone else when you overreact than to face your own mistakes and apologize. I don't know any reason modern society would have invented that. The impulse to shift blame is intrinsic to having the human set of emotions.
I disagree. Almost no human behaviors are "modern" -- sometimes frustratingly so.
Historically, authorities would often blame those they subjugated for "making them" do something (monarchs, jailers, armies, etc.) It's also a very common model of spousal abuse.
In general, it's easier to blame someone else when you overreact than to face your own mistakes and apologize. I don't know any reason modern society would have invented that. The impulse to shift blame is intrinsic to having the human set of emotions.