The author does identify a problem, and so you want to focus on that. That's fine. There is the issue of triviality, however.
The problem described is widely felt, and also widely discussed. We already know this stuff to be a problem. For the piece to be worthwhile, then, it should do something that is not present in the other instances where the topic has been raised. It should articulate (or at the very least exhibit, without necessarily articulating) a solution for us. It doesn't. A bad remedy to a genuine problem does not yield a solved problem.
The problem described is widely felt, and also widely discussed. We already know this stuff to be a problem. For the piece to be worthwhile, then, it should do something that is not present in the other instances where the topic has been raised. It should articulate (or at the very least exhibit, without necessarily articulating) a solution for us. It doesn't. A bad remedy to a genuine problem does not yield a solved problem.