I've been reading HN for awhile. I'm using a throwaway account to ask for advice.
Basically, I am a failure. I do about three hours of work in a month, seriously. And I'm an entrepreneur with a dream schedule! I'm floating along on some contracts but It's only a matter of time before I'm found out. More importantly I detest myself for this.
I've read god knows how many posts about finding your vision and achieving goals. I know what my perfect day looks like but I can't ever follow through. It's awful. I have a sick feeling in my stomach every night as another day is wasted. There's no end.
The worst is being a member of HN where so many accomplished people work. Seriously, if I could break this mental block or disease or whatever I could be like that! At least I think I could. I'm so bored with FP vs OP, language debates, stack overflow book recs and all that because I've studied them all before. I should be teaching the guys who ask those questions with my experience by now, yet I have no experience...
I'm over 30 years old. Can I change? Is it too late? Has anybody like me ever changed? If so I would love to hear from you.
All suggestions welcome. However, I do need to keep earning a living so taking a year off in Tibet is not going to work for me very well.
Basically, I am a failure. I do about three hours of work in a month, seriously. And I'm an entrepreneur with a dream schedule! I'm floating along on some contracts but It's only a matter of time before I'm found out. More importantly I detest myself for this.
I've read god knows how many posts about finding your vision and achieving goals. I know what my perfect day looks like but I can't ever follow through. It's awful. I have a sick feeling in my stomach every night as another day is wasted. There's no end.
The worst is being a member of HN where so many accomplished people work. Seriously, if I could break this mental block or disease or whatever I could be like that! At least I think I could. I'm so bored with FP vs OP, language debates, stack overflow book recs and all that because I've studied them all before. I should be teaching the guys who ask those questions with my experience by now, yet I have no experience...
I'm over 30 years old. Can I change? Is it too late? Has anybody like me ever changed? If so I would love to hear from you.
All suggestions welcome. However, I do need to keep earning a living so taking a year off in Tibet is not going to work for me very well.