Its not just a matter of 'not being rapey' - its a matter of agency over the sexual act.
If you get consent from your partner, have sex with them, and then your partner changes their mind about it afterwards - for any reason they determine under their own agency, what is to be done to avoid the danger of being falsely accused of not having gained consent, other than to simply abstain?
If consent can be retracted after the act, the act is not safe. So abstinence is the only answer.
And really, this shift towards abstinence is an appropriate social response.
If you get consent from your partner, have sex with them, and then your partner changes their mind about it afterwards - for any reason they determine under their own agency, what is to be done to avoid the danger of being falsely accused of not having gained consent, other than to simply abstain?
If consent can be retracted after the act, the act is not safe. So abstinence is the only answer.
And really, this shift towards abstinence is an appropriate social response.