Ok, I'll take the bait. If "literally all of you are doing it wrong", then why even try to define the "right" way to do OOP? Is OOP even a good thing? Or has it failed to live up to its promises?
(Insert FP fanboy platitude about how objects are a poor man's closures, or something along those lines)
(Insert FP fanboy platitude about how objects are a poor man's closures, or something along those lines)