There's no point to the story below. I never meet people with ADHD, and I just felt like writing about my experience. To summarize, I know that I have ADHD, but I don't know what to do with that information. It's either, take that pill and turn into a robot, or don't take the pill and continue living an unorganized, chaotic life.
I'm only 22, don't know at what point I'm supposed to figure out what life is and how it works :D Got a job, GF and my own (rented) apartment, if that's it then I want to be a kid again.
God damn, can't even summarize without writing a wall of text...
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In the end of 2019, YouTube randomly recommended a video to me, in which a guy talked about his experiences of growing up with ADHD. I never thought that I had it, but what he said resonated with me so strongly that it scared me. At about the same time, my GFs younger brother was diagnosed with ADHD.
Started reading more about it, because my knowledge at that point was "kids who can't keep still".
A book which particularly shocked me back then was "ADD stole my car keys" by Rick Green. It felt like reading my own diary, it was very creepy.
So I started wondering if I had it. Talked about it to my doctor and he recommended a specialists who diagnoses ADHD. So I went there, and after months of questionnaires, tests etc. I got the confirmation which said, that I indeed had ADD.
After that, there was a time period where I was able to live with ADD and actually start organizing my life etc. Then Corona hit, I was fired (got a new, better job, no worries) and it kinda reset my progress.
Now the critical thing was the medication. It seemed to work, but in a way I didn't completely like. I was able to focus more, and my emotions were in check. But I wasn't hungry, it made me apathetic and my creativity went away.
Granted, my job does not require creativity, but it feels weird to take a pill, which sole purpose is to make me compatible with the capitalistic world we live in. I was able to work, but my personality was lost while being on meds.
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In the end of 2019, YouTube randomly recommended a video to me, in which a guy talked about his experiences of growing up with ADHD. I never thought that I had it, but what he said resonated with me so strongly that it scared me. At about the same time, my GFs younger brother was diagnosed with ADHD. Started reading more about it, because my knowledge at that point was "kids who can't keep still".
A book which particularly shocked me back then was "ADD stole my car keys" by Rick Green. It felt like reading my own diary, it was very creepy.
So I started wondering if I had it. Talked about it to my doctor and he recommended a specialists who diagnoses ADHD. So I went there, and after months of questionnaires, tests etc. I got the confirmation which said, that I indeed had ADD.
After that, there was a time period where I was able to live with ADD and actually start organizing my life etc. Then Corona hit, I was fired (got a new, better job, no worries) and it kinda reset my progress.
Now the critical thing was the medication. It seemed to work, but in a way I didn't completely like. I was able to focus more, and my emotions were in check. But I wasn't hungry, it made me apathetic and my creativity went away. Granted, my job does not require creativity, but it feels weird to take a pill, which sole purpose is to make me compatible with the capitalistic world we live in. I was able to work, but my personality was lost while being on meds.