The real problem is that pull requests are the wrong form of communication. By the time someone sends a pull request they already put a significant amount of effort into their message and thus will rightfully get angry when their efforts are being rejected.
You need to contact the maintainers directly and talk with them, preferably in an informal format where it is okay for things to be forgotten or thrown out.
The fact that things are written down and recorded forever with an expectation of work is what is causing all the problems.
You need to contact the maintainers directly and talk with them, preferably in an informal format where it is okay for things to be forgotten or thrown out.
The fact that things are written down and recorded forever with an expectation of work is what is causing all the problems.