I can say that I would, because I was in your place, and I did reach out - even though it took me a long time to do so, which brought me far closer to the precipice than I'd care to dwell on.
I can't say that I did it without trepidation or concern of stigma, but I was surprised at the degree to which that fear was unjustified. In hindsight, I don't know whether I was over-exaggerating the feared stigma in keeping with our cultural expectations, or as an expression of the depression itself. Either way, I can tell you that the experience was painless. Getting appropriate medication also made a world of difference, to such a degree that nowadays, when things deteriorate, I can qualitatively recognize "those" thoughts and feelings as not belonging to my normal palette, though there are grey areas that sometimes sneak up on me.
I don't speak up on my behalf, as you're right - I'm just a stranger on the internet, and we'll forget about each other soon enough. I'm speaking up on behalf of the people in your life that you're currently telling yourself will be better off without you. Because they won't be better off, and they'll carry the pain of your absence as a wound that doesn't heal.
I can't say that I did it without trepidation or concern of stigma, but I was surprised at the degree to which that fear was unjustified. In hindsight, I don't know whether I was over-exaggerating the feared stigma in keeping with our cultural expectations, or as an expression of the depression itself. Either way, I can tell you that the experience was painless. Getting appropriate medication also made a world of difference, to such a degree that nowadays, when things deteriorate, I can qualitatively recognize "those" thoughts and feelings as not belonging to my normal palette, though there are grey areas that sometimes sneak up on me.
I don't speak up on my behalf, as you're right - I'm just a stranger on the internet, and we'll forget about each other soon enough. I'm speaking up on behalf of the people in your life that you're currently telling yourself will be better off without you. Because they won't be better off, and they'll carry the pain of your absence as a wound that doesn't heal.