particularly responding to the authors story about all the disappointment that open source involves.
open source maintainers this is a public service announcement. You're killing yourselves by being too nice. Don't be afraid to embrace your inner despot because really that's what you are when you are maintainer over a project. you need to be sort of a rougher, less experienced than, less polished version of Linus's or Guido's benevolent dictator for life. if you don't like something just shut it down if you don't like an issue just close it if you don't like a PR just close it if you don't like a request just deny it.
if this is starting to rub off on you in a good way and you're liking what I'm saying well then just double down and do it. embrace your inner despot. it's okay. if you're still sitting on the fence let me bring you to the good side with a little bit of advice, if you need to have it sold you like this. That's fine. it's not about you. keeping you in the best mental health possible, taking care of you is really about taking care of the project and all the people involved in it. you need to come first so that the project survives and can thrive. so uncomfortable as it may be to embrace your inner despot that's the best way to secure your own mental health.
clear boundaries. unhesitating expression of what you want to do. no apologies.
they want to fork it? not your problem. stick a fork in it.
you don't like the way someone's behaving? block them.
you can choose to make this a great experience for you I believe. you just need the discipline to stick to that path. at every branch in the road choose this: what you want to do and only what you want to do. no compromises. That's the discipline you need to practice. if a project that used to be fun and give you a whole set of positive emotions, opens up, that should really only increase the positivity for you once you share it with others. I believe if you picked the right path by embracing your inner despot you can do that. you end up with a lot of people expressing their negative emotions, but you know what? who cares. their feelings are not your responsibility. it's not your problem.
be a despot. you'll like it. and it might be the only chance you have to do that. and I might be the way to save your mental health and your project.
and maybe just maybe if you be a despot the community will change. people who support you will gather around you and protect you once they see that strength which is inspiring. this drink that you stick to your principles and your vision. and maybe just maybe if you're lucky there's no guarantee but maybe the community will start protecting you. and if they do well just don't get soft. keep being a despot because that's what you need to do that's your job. you created this thing it's your responsibility to keep it on the best possible that involves keeping yourself on the best path possible. you already know how to do that you just have to choose that at every little decision you have. if you're not ready to make a decision right now just aren't. delay it until you feel ready to do it.
good luck. end of message.
open source maintainers this is a public service announcement. You're killing yourselves by being too nice. Don't be afraid to embrace your inner despot because really that's what you are when you are maintainer over a project. you need to be sort of a rougher, less experienced than, less polished version of Linus's or Guido's benevolent dictator for life. if you don't like something just shut it down if you don't like an issue just close it if you don't like a PR just close it if you don't like a request just deny it.
if this is starting to rub off on you in a good way and you're liking what I'm saying well then just double down and do it. embrace your inner despot. it's okay. if you're still sitting on the fence let me bring you to the good side with a little bit of advice, if you need to have it sold you like this. That's fine. it's not about you. keeping you in the best mental health possible, taking care of you is really about taking care of the project and all the people involved in it. you need to come first so that the project survives and can thrive. so uncomfortable as it may be to embrace your inner despot that's the best way to secure your own mental health.
clear boundaries. unhesitating expression of what you want to do. no apologies.
they want to fork it? not your problem. stick a fork in it.
you don't like the way someone's behaving? block them.
you can choose to make this a great experience for you I believe. you just need the discipline to stick to that path. at every branch in the road choose this: what you want to do and only what you want to do. no compromises. That's the discipline you need to practice. if a project that used to be fun and give you a whole set of positive emotions, opens up, that should really only increase the positivity for you once you share it with others. I believe if you picked the right path by embracing your inner despot you can do that. you end up with a lot of people expressing their negative emotions, but you know what? who cares. their feelings are not your responsibility. it's not your problem.
be a despot. you'll like it. and it might be the only chance you have to do that. and I might be the way to save your mental health and your project.
and maybe just maybe if you be a despot the community will change. people who support you will gather around you and protect you once they see that strength which is inspiring. this drink that you stick to your principles and your vision. and maybe just maybe if you're lucky there's no guarantee but maybe the community will start protecting you. and if they do well just don't get soft. keep being a despot because that's what you need to do that's your job. you created this thing it's your responsibility to keep it on the best possible that involves keeping yourself on the best path possible. you already know how to do that you just have to choose that at every little decision you have. if you're not ready to make a decision right now just aren't. delay it until you feel ready to do it.
good luck. end of message.