> a person pushing a button to further invalidate you hurts
The problem with your post is that you have predicated it entirely on your personal experiences, while being unwilling to describe those experiences in detail. You have not told us, for example, what kind of surgery was performed, what the complications were, who "scared" you "into having surgery" (and how), or what the negative effects on your life were, specifically.
You are free to choose not to share this information -- nobody can fairly expect you to share such intimate and painful details. I realize that is very difficult. But without specifics, an account of your personal experiences does not contribute very much to the discussion.
The problem with your post is that you have predicated it entirely on your personal experiences, while being unwilling to describe those experiences in detail. You have not told us, for example, what kind of surgery was performed, what the complications were, who "scared" you "into having surgery" (and how), or what the negative effects on your life were, specifically.
You are free to choose not to share this information -- nobody can fairly expect you to share such intimate and painful details. I realize that is very difficult. But without specifics, an account of your personal experiences does not contribute very much to the discussion.