I like this game! I can play too. The three laws of snarky Apple critics:
1. A snarky Apple critic may not injure any argument against Apple, or allow, through inaction, any argument against Apple to be proven wrong.
2. A snarky Apple critic must do the opposite of any order given to them by Apple, except where not obeying such orders would conflict with the first law.
3. A snarky Apple critic must protect their own existence, as long as such protection does not conflict with laws one or two.
1. A snarky Apple critic may not injure any argument against Apple, or allow, through inaction, any argument against Apple to be proven wrong.
2. A snarky Apple critic must do the opposite of any order given to them by Apple, except where not obeying such orders would conflict with the first law.
3. A snarky Apple critic must protect their own existence, as long as such protection does not conflict with laws one or two.