Hey IPFS person here. We actually made a change to ipfs-desktop back in Feb of last year to reduce the default connection limit to ~300 (https://github.com/ipfs-shipyard/ipfs-desktop/pull/828), and also to set desktop nodes into DHT-client mode (so they don't get lots of requests from other nodes for where to find content). If you've been running your node since back then, you can change your defaults in the desktop "settings" menu at the bottom of your IPFS config by setting '"HighWater": 300' (or whatever you prefer -- personally I like having ~600 connections). I run ipfs-desktop all the time (including on crappy hotel wifis) and don't find it gets in the way of anything.
You're right, there are a ton of great ideas and suggestions for how to make IPFS better that we haven't gotten to yet - we're working on making it easier to navigate and for more folks to help contribute. To that aim, we just created a new ipfs-docs site (in beta right now) to better explain the concepts and how-to of working in the ecosystem: blog.ipfs.io/2020-01-07-ipfs-docs-beta/ -- would love your feedback on how we can keep making that better!
You're right, there are a ton of great ideas and suggestions for how to make IPFS better that we haven't gotten to yet - we're working on making it easier to navigate and for more folks to help contribute. To that aim, we just created a new ipfs-docs site (in beta right now) to better explain the concepts and how-to of working in the ecosystem: blog.ipfs.io/2020-01-07-ipfs-docs-beta/ -- would love your feedback on how we can keep making that better!