My SO is currently in hospice after 6 brain surgeries for brain cancer (4 over last year with her state gradually deteriorating). For the last year she was severly disabled and had to be help with sitting down, standing up, lying down and adjusting pillows and blankets as she had very limited use of her hands and general body coordination. She had to be kept safe while walking. It wasn't as good life as she had before but it was life. She was spending time with family, watching ton of netflix and movies, enjoying meals, especially when on steroids. She even managed, with a bit of help, to throw a party for my 40th birthday in march this year, that was cool enough to stave off my usual birthday downward mood swing.
Now she's lying in hospice bed with only minor control of her eyes and even less of her mouth. Barely concious. At most minimally responsive. Feeding tube, oxygen, urinary catheterer, central venous catheter. She's kept alive and somewhat sedated.
First reccurence she had after 5 years after initial treatment and diagnosis. Last recurrence happend in two months. It's already a month past last operation.
I'm a bit torn because I'm firm realist and I believe no matter how bad life is, it is the only thing that has a value for you because it's the only thing you have. When your life ends, there's nothing else, no new game, not even admiring your high score. Your life has an ultimate value to you and you have to try to make the best of it even if it consists of sleeping on morphine all the time till your body just falls apart.
On the other hand... she wished to die on an operating table under general anesthesia. Unfortunately she had too good surgeon for that to happen. If she were to spend 5 years like that I think she'd wish for her cancer to grow faster.
Now she's lying in hospice bed with only minor control of her eyes and even less of her mouth. Barely concious. At most minimally responsive. Feeding tube, oxygen, urinary catheterer, central venous catheter. She's kept alive and somewhat sedated.
First reccurence she had after 5 years after initial treatment and diagnosis. Last recurrence happend in two months. It's already a month past last operation.
I'm a bit torn because I'm firm realist and I believe no matter how bad life is, it is the only thing that has a value for you because it's the only thing you have. When your life ends, there's nothing else, no new game, not even admiring your high score. Your life has an ultimate value to you and you have to try to make the best of it even if it consists of sleeping on morphine all the time till your body just falls apart.
On the other hand... she wished to die on an operating table under general anesthesia. Unfortunately she had too good surgeon for that to happen. If she were to spend 5 years like that I think she'd wish for her cancer to grow faster.