Advice from Alan Kazdin from Yale has influenced my parenting of my 4 young boys more than any other single source. His recommendations against punishment are based on the fact that research shows they are not effective for long-term behavior change in children. It is challenging to use the methods in heated moments, but even without perfect application, they have been helpful.
Here is an article that introduces the ideas:
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/03/no-spanki...
Here is his book, that has full details and many examples:
https://www.amazon.com/Everyday-Parenting-Toolkit-Step-Step-...