One can choose whether they want to begin a social & hormonal transition but they cannot choose to not have the genetic and biological factors that are at play[1]. I doubt anyone take the decisions lightly. It is a huge burden on your life.
In my case, I have decided to transition after 25 years of successfully living as a male. The burden of not transitioning was compounding with interest and I felt as if waiting any more would result in me being a toxic person both to myself and those surrounding me. Everyone has different factors at play. Personally, I had different hormonal levels than that of a regular male and had some female features as a child (testosterone bulldozes over those during puberty). I have also been told that my body processes estrogen slightly differently than the majority of males.
Three years old is indeed the age where gender identity starts to appear in children. It could be possible that the mother is telling the truth but one cannot say without an actual health professional's advice. It is normal for a child to experience different gender identities at that age since the brain is still forming. Usually the identity begins to solidify around five.
In the case that this identity cause distress in the child (attempting to mutilate themselves, depressive episodes, etc.), they should see a therapist. If there is a diagnostic of gender dysphoria which increase as their body develop, they might choose to use puberty blockers at the start of adolescence to stop the body from going through a puberty that increases this distress. It gives the child and therapist more time to go through those issues. Blockers can be stopped and a regular puberty would occur (with some possible health issue, so you shouldn't prescribe those unless the child is actually suffering). Should the feelings of distress and gender non-conformity still be present, discussion of an actual transition begin around sixteen years old. Children who transition from that path have the chance of not having lived the an extra puberty. It makes their transition easier and makes it less hard for the person to blend in as their actual gender. This avoid a lot of issues which adult transitioner have to struggle with their entire lives and will save on costs (facial feminization surgery, body feminization surgery, voice surgeries, etc.).
[1] A starting point for more information about this could be: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender#Scientific_studies...
In my case, I have decided to transition after 25 years of successfully living as a male. The burden of not transitioning was compounding with interest and I felt as if waiting any more would result in me being a toxic person both to myself and those surrounding me. Everyone has different factors at play. Personally, I had different hormonal levels than that of a regular male and had some female features as a child (testosterone bulldozes over those during puberty). I have also been told that my body processes estrogen slightly differently than the majority of males.
Three years old is indeed the age where gender identity starts to appear in children. It could be possible that the mother is telling the truth but one cannot say without an actual health professional's advice. It is normal for a child to experience different gender identities at that age since the brain is still forming. Usually the identity begins to solidify around five.
In the case that this identity cause distress in the child (attempting to mutilate themselves, depressive episodes, etc.), they should see a therapist. If there is a diagnostic of gender dysphoria which increase as their body develop, they might choose to use puberty blockers at the start of adolescence to stop the body from going through a puberty that increases this distress. It gives the child and therapist more time to go through those issues. Blockers can be stopped and a regular puberty would occur (with some possible health issue, so you shouldn't prescribe those unless the child is actually suffering). Should the feelings of distress and gender non-conformity still be present, discussion of an actual transition begin around sixteen years old. Children who transition from that path have the chance of not having lived the an extra puberty. It makes their transition easier and makes it less hard for the person to blend in as their actual gender. This avoid a lot of issues which adult transitioner have to struggle with their entire lives and will save on costs (facial feminization surgery, body feminization surgery, voice surgeries, etc.).
[1] A starting point for more information about this could be: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender#Scientific_studies...