Here's a way to think about your fears that may help (easier to say than do, so if it doesn't work for you don't be discouraged).
If there were a fire in the corner of the room you'd rush towards it and smother it. You wouldn't wait. If there were a big fire you'd get out (bcause you can't even see the whole problem), get help, and figure out what to do.
Yet somehow we all (me included!!!) don't use the "obvious" (almost automatic) approaches with more abstract fears. The big fears are the worst, as we're often afraid to ask for help and are overwhelmed by the risk.
It has worked for me to think of them as literal fires, which eventually led me to convince myself that the sooner I deal with them the sooner they'll stop bothering me. I literally think of a problem with an employee as a fire burning in the corner of the room, which if not addressed will spread. Nobody wants to deal with a fire any more than an uncomfortable conversation (maybe the latter even less) but the visualization seems to work.
I am sure this doesn't work for everyone but I was given this advice years ago and was able to "trick" myself into dealing with many scary things.
If there were a fire in the corner of the room you'd rush towards it and smother it. You wouldn't wait. If there were a big fire you'd get out (bcause you can't even see the whole problem), get help, and figure out what to do.
Yet somehow we all (me included!!!) don't use the "obvious" (almost automatic) approaches with more abstract fears. The big fears are the worst, as we're often afraid to ask for help and are overwhelmed by the risk.
It has worked for me to think of them as literal fires, which eventually led me to convince myself that the sooner I deal with them the sooner they'll stop bothering me. I literally think of a problem with an employee as a fire burning in the corner of the room, which if not addressed will spread. Nobody wants to deal with a fire any more than an uncomfortable conversation (maybe the latter even less) but the visualization seems to work.
I am sure this doesn't work for everyone but I was given this advice years ago and was able to "trick" myself into dealing with many scary things.