Who do you want to be? Do you want to be a guy who keeps his word, or do you want to be a guy who gets to work on his projects?
Look, I get wanting to work on your stuff. And I get how crazy it can make you when you keep getting interrupted. (Like, I get it from direct first-hand experience. "Please stop reading the internet to me. You're destroying all the space in my brain.")
But, bluntly, you sound like a very selfish person. You're measuring things only by the yardstick of what you want[1]. You need to start letting marriage change who you are, change you into someone who cares more for people than for things and projects. (In fairness, that took me a lot more than ten years.)
Don't throw your marriage away. If you do, for the reasons you said, I think you'll regret it. Instead, work on improving it, both from your perspective and from hers.
[1]: Yes, you've said that you asked her if it was OK with her. I think there are three possibilities: She's trying to put a happy face on it for you, she's mistaken about how much it's going to hurt her, or she's also unhappy in the relationship.
Look, I get wanting to work on your stuff. And I get how crazy it can make you when you keep getting interrupted. (Like, I get it from direct first-hand experience. "Please stop reading the internet to me. You're destroying all the space in my brain.")
But, bluntly, you sound like a very selfish person. You're measuring things only by the yardstick of what you want[1]. You need to start letting marriage change who you are, change you into someone who cares more for people than for things and projects. (In fairness, that took me a lot more than ten years.)
Don't throw your marriage away. If you do, for the reasons you said, I think you'll regret it. Instead, work on improving it, both from your perspective and from hers.
[1]: Yes, you've said that you asked her if it was OK with her. I think there are three possibilities: She's trying to put a happy face on it for you, she's mistaken about how much it's going to hurt her, or she's also unhappy in the relationship.