I was molested & bullied as a kid, starting between 3-5 years old. It traumatized me. I started withdrawing emotionally into video games and television at age 8 or sooner. I was diagnosed with ADD after 8th grade. I added porn and learning about tech at age 12 to my avoidance habits. I entered into recovery for information, gaming, porn, masturbation, sex, love, and sugar addictions at age 32.
I was accused for years of being autistic in some way. Nope...I simply disconnected emotionally at an early age and didn't learn to actually feel my feelings until 20+ years after I was biologically supposed to. Anxiety was my norm and I didn't know it because I didn't know what anxiety was.
The fact that I could go so long without basic lessons on what emotions are, how we feel them physically in the body, and what to do with them is a damning commentary on our society.
The fact that my trauma went unrecognized as such, even by me, til 32 is a damning commentary on psychology.
I've been feeling my feelings for 2.5 years and it started as a direct result of me saying aloud to myself while alone "That traumatized me." The next moment was a flood of emotions, including excitement over whatever this flood of emotions was or could lead to and how weird it was that simply saying words out loud could lead to it.
I now think everyone could benefit from making a list of things they think didn't traumatize them that other people have been historically traumatized by before, consider how their personal story lines up with standard stories of denial, and then consider the idea that they were traumatized in ways they don't yet realize while saying "That traumatized me."
I was accused for years of being autistic in some way. Nope...I simply disconnected emotionally at an early age and didn't learn to actually feel my feelings until 20+ years after I was biologically supposed to. Anxiety was my norm and I didn't know it because I didn't know what anxiety was.
The fact that I could go so long without basic lessons on what emotions are, how we feel them physically in the body, and what to do with them is a damning commentary on our society.
The fact that my trauma went unrecognized as such, even by me, til 32 is a damning commentary on psychology.
I've been feeling my feelings for 2.5 years and it started as a direct result of me saying aloud to myself while alone "That traumatized me." The next moment was a flood of emotions, including excitement over whatever this flood of emotions was or could lead to and how weird it was that simply saying words out loud could lead to it.
I now think everyone could benefit from making a list of things they think didn't traumatize them that other people have been historically traumatized by before, consider how their personal story lines up with standard stories of denial, and then consider the idea that they were traumatized in ways they don't yet realize while saying "That traumatized me."