You need to fix yourself. Big time. I'm 38 and in a similar situation. Like me you're probably a very intelligent person but interacting with the real world is frustrating to the point where you'd rather lock yourself in a room all day.
I had to fix myself, it's not easy. But I'd also like to really push a point: see a mental health professional. Seriously. Plenty of us self diagnosed "crazies" pretend we understand our problems; we're prideful, fragile, ego maniacs so we tend to think were smarter than we actually are in some cases. So we tell ourselves: " I don't need no stinking shrink. I'll figure this out myself." But the reality is you need someone who is trained to observe and learn our bubble world we live in and tell us what they see, how to mitigate and how to improve. Instead, here we are, frustrated, pissed off and desperate for relief.
Have I seen a shrink? Nope. Why? Like you I'm stubborn. I also can't get my shit together enough to schedule something with someone. It's my fault for not going. Instead I self medicate with marijuana and try to live a life simple even though it's a massively complex mess. I also lost a lot of weight over the last year and a half going from 215 lbs to 160. I look better and feel better so that's a good first step. My mattress is also shot so sleep has been poor so i use the weed to help myself sleep ont hat slab of crap but that's because I'm too disorganized to buy a mattress and clean my room to prepare for delivery.
It's a vicious cycle if not properly addressed which we have to admit to ourselves is almost impossible without professional help.
I had to fix myself, it's not easy. But I'd also like to really push a point: see a mental health professional. Seriously. Plenty of us self diagnosed "crazies" pretend we understand our problems; we're prideful, fragile, ego maniacs so we tend to think were smarter than we actually are in some cases. So we tell ourselves: " I don't need no stinking shrink. I'll figure this out myself." But the reality is you need someone who is trained to observe and learn our bubble world we live in and tell us what they see, how to mitigate and how to improve. Instead, here we are, frustrated, pissed off and desperate for relief.
Have I seen a shrink? Nope. Why? Like you I'm stubborn. I also can't get my shit together enough to schedule something with someone. It's my fault for not going. Instead I self medicate with marijuana and try to live a life simple even though it's a massively complex mess. I also lost a lot of weight over the last year and a half going from 215 lbs to 160. I look better and feel better so that's a good first step. My mattress is also shot so sleep has been poor so i use the weed to help myself sleep ont hat slab of crap but that's because I'm too disorganized to buy a mattress and clean my room to prepare for delivery.
It's a vicious cycle if not properly addressed which we have to admit to ourselves is almost impossible without professional help.