Super sad to read how your story turned out. I would like to point out as others have that you still are in a good spot experience-wise with multiple successful exits and prior jobs.
To me it sounds like your main issue is understanding your diagnosis of bipolar and keeping its symptoms under control. You are not crazy! Bipolar is an eminently treatable disease I asked my friend who is a physician with 25 years in the field and she recommended going back to see a doctor to look at some alternative medications. At this point lamotrigine, valproate and lithium have validated efficacy and can help with the symptoms you describe. I'd suggest a second medical opinion!
Regarding your coding interviews, I would suggest leaving them until after you start feeling in control. Practice, targeting your resume (500 applications is a lot!) and staying calm will get you a comfortable position with your experience IMO.
To me it sounds like your main issue is understanding your diagnosis of bipolar and keeping its symptoms under control. You are not crazy! Bipolar is an eminently treatable disease I asked my friend who is a physician with 25 years in the field and she recommended going back to see a doctor to look at some alternative medications. At this point lamotrigine, valproate and lithium have validated efficacy and can help with the symptoms you describe. I'd suggest a second medical opinion!
Regarding your coding interviews, I would suggest leaving them until after you start feeling in control. Practice, targeting your resume (500 applications is a lot!) and staying calm will get you a comfortable position with your experience IMO.