> The sooner we get rid of the emotion, the better, probably.
Let's look at how this plays out in the real world. Someone gets dumped because they were a terrible partner. We hope that the pain of loss motivates them to do better in their next relationship. They briefly feel bad, but start using the technique of "negative reappraisal" (the more common term is "blaming the other person"). This rapidly decreases their distress in the short term, but it also makes them avoid looking at their behavior and making changes, so they make the same mistakes in their next relationship, and the cycle repeats.
Let's look at how this plays out in the real world. Someone gets dumped because they were a terrible partner. We hope that the pain of loss motivates them to do better in their next relationship. They briefly feel bad, but start using the technique of "negative reappraisal" (the more common term is "blaming the other person"). This rapidly decreases their distress in the short term, but it also makes them avoid looking at their behavior and making changes, so they make the same mistakes in their next relationship, and the cycle repeats.