First, you need to stop blaming your mother, cheap clients, and other people generally. You need to decide what you want and do what it takes to make that happen. Instead of fighting with people, just make your own decisions. If they are going to have a cow about it, start moving them out of your life.
If you are living with controlling parents or other controlling people, you need to very quietly start laying the groundwork for getting out of that situation (without signalling to them that you are moving on -- that only gives them the chance to sabotage your efforts). Don't keep people close to you and give them control over your life who don't genuinely respect you and have your best interests at heart.
Second, you need to prioritize taking care of your health.
Third, you need to stop focusing so much on what you can't do and start focusing more on what you can do.
If you are living with controlling parents or other controlling people, you need to very quietly start laying the groundwork for getting out of that situation (without signalling to them that you are moving on -- that only gives them the chance to sabotage your efforts). Don't keep people close to you and give them control over your life who don't genuinely respect you and have your best interests at heart.
Second, you need to prioritize taking care of your health.
Third, you need to stop focusing so much on what you can't do and start focusing more on what you can do.