So, programming got less fun for me ever since I started doing it for money. I hated my job in pretty much exactly the same way you describe. But I have loved technology and building things ever since I was a few years old (Lego, etc)
Then I quit my job (after a year) and went independent. I (eventually, not overnight) built an app that did moderately well, while sustaining myself through contracting revenue, and made a nice chunk of money from that. Not FU money, but enough to sustain me for a long time if I invested it well and didn't spend through the roof. And then I built another, and another.
Everyone is different and I get where you're coming from. The reason I'm telling you this is because I love what I do again. I have helped out my mom when she needed it. I have freedom in life to do what I want, when I want it. I love cooking and spend a proper amount of time each day doing it. And I love the users of my apps that reach out to me because they enjoy using it. A good day of work is 4 to 6 hours of productive work.
Also: you're not weak for helping out family -- call me crazy but I would give the people I care about a free monthly stipend if I could. People care too little about others.
Also 2: You should stop reading startup stories and Techcrunch, as they're mostly bullshit. Investors included. If you want to take control of your life, focus on small things or products you can build in a short amount of time (e.g. like a plugin, a library or an app). Not going to go too much into detail, but I built one app a few years ago in a week that grossed close to $50k. Then there was another I built in a month that did $X00k+. Then I spent six months on a SaaS which made me exactly $10. I'm definitely not the smartest or most commercial guy around.
Life isn't always easy, but please, don't kill yourself. It can definitely get better.
Then I quit my job (after a year) and went independent. I (eventually, not overnight) built an app that did moderately well, while sustaining myself through contracting revenue, and made a nice chunk of money from that. Not FU money, but enough to sustain me for a long time if I invested it well and didn't spend through the roof. And then I built another, and another.
Everyone is different and I get where you're coming from. The reason I'm telling you this is because I love what I do again. I have helped out my mom when she needed it. I have freedom in life to do what I want, when I want it. I love cooking and spend a proper amount of time each day doing it. And I love the users of my apps that reach out to me because they enjoy using it. A good day of work is 4 to 6 hours of productive work.
Also: you're not weak for helping out family -- call me crazy but I would give the people I care about a free monthly stipend if I could. People care too little about others.
Also 2: You should stop reading startup stories and Techcrunch, as they're mostly bullshit. Investors included. If you want to take control of your life, focus on small things or products you can build in a short amount of time (e.g. like a plugin, a library or an app). Not going to go too much into detail, but I built one app a few years ago in a week that grossed close to $50k. Then there was another I built in a month that did $X00k+. Then I spent six months on a SaaS which made me exactly $10. I'm definitely not the smartest or most commercial guy around.
Life isn't always easy, but please, don't kill yourself. It can definitely get better.