I'm in the same boat - been running my own mail since the 90s. I could understand complaints about lots of weird hoops to jump through to get mail from your server
accepted elsewhere - that has become harder over time[1] - but there's a very short list of things that need to be done to avoid being hijacked.
Mail server setup for the uninitiated does look a little daunting, especially if you're more accustomed to "all-in-one"-ish software. If you want to do this, I recommend starting with making sure you have a clear mental model of mail server architecture, especially where it touches other things (DNS, DKIM, spam filters, local delivery, probably IMAP, maybe LDAP, maybe databases, etc.) Without a clear idea of the dataflow and reasons for different decision-points, you're going to have a very bad time troubleshooting things.
[1] SBCGlobal.net has been rejecting me for over a decade despite there being zero spam ever having been emitted by my domain. Eh, my userbase communicates with exactly one SBC user; ATT can bite me.
Mail server setup for the uninitiated does look a little daunting, especially if you're more accustomed to "all-in-one"-ish software. If you want to do this, I recommend starting with making sure you have a clear mental model of mail server architecture, especially where it touches other things (DNS, DKIM, spam filters, local delivery, probably IMAP, maybe LDAP, maybe databases, etc.) Without a clear idea of the dataflow and reasons for different decision-points, you're going to have a very bad time troubleshooting things.
[1] SBCGlobal.net has been rejecting me for over a decade despite there being zero spam ever having been emitted by my domain. Eh, my userbase communicates with exactly one SBC user; ATT can bite me.