I think it's telling that parent says "we can change anything" and you went to "just tr[ying] harder". This is what many of my students do (I'm doing poorly in math, I need to just try harder, but trying harder doesn't help, so I must be bad at math, so I'll do something else). My observation about these students is that they are not very good at learning math -- that is, the techniques they use to study are not appropriate to the task -- and so trying harder indeed does not help.
Trying to assemble Ikea furniture using only a spoon also does not succumb to "just trying harder" but no one paints that as a moral failing.
We must continually learn new skills appropriate to our situation, not just try harder. This is a theme even in ancient history and religion, but it's still true. When it comes to being organized it was a revelation to me to read Marie Kondo's book and Organizing Solutions for People with Attention Deficit Disorder: between the two of them, I realized that I could build my living space to facilitate being neat or organized, working with my brain rather than "just trying harder" to be neat.
It is not good to be lazy, but I think we sometimes teach people that some topics are just hard for some people and so you might as well give up because trying harder won't help. No, sometimes your math teacher or textbook actually suck; sometimes your living space is organized for a different kind of brain; sometimes you're depressed because you're eating an allergen every day or because your manager truly is terrible and there are things you can do to change it without trying harder.
Do agree with, "We're all different, I'm glad this worked for you but it doesn't necessarily follow that your approach would help others," and that applies to my comment as well.
Trying to assemble Ikea furniture using only a spoon also does not succumb to "just trying harder" but no one paints that as a moral failing.
We must continually learn new skills appropriate to our situation, not just try harder. This is a theme even in ancient history and religion, but it's still true. When it comes to being organized it was a revelation to me to read Marie Kondo's book and Organizing Solutions for People with Attention Deficit Disorder: between the two of them, I realized that I could build my living space to facilitate being neat or organized, working with my brain rather than "just trying harder" to be neat.
It is not good to be lazy, but I think we sometimes teach people that some topics are just hard for some people and so you might as well give up because trying harder won't help. No, sometimes your math teacher or textbook actually suck; sometimes your living space is organized for a different kind of brain; sometimes you're depressed because you're eating an allergen every day or because your manager truly is terrible and there are things you can do to change it without trying harder.
Do agree with, "We're all different, I'm glad this worked for you but it doesn't necessarily follow that your approach would help others," and that applies to my comment as well.