Comment by opticalflow

Here, I fixed it for you:

if (globalservices) {

    yourescrewed=0;

    upgradeprobability=0.25f;

    bumpprobability=0.0f;

} else if (united1k) {

    yourescrewed=1;

    upgradeprobability=0.10f;

    bumpprobability=0.01f;

} else if (unitedplatinum) {

    yourescrewed=1;

    upgradeprobability=0.05f;

    bumpprobability=0.05f*(1-premiumeconomy*0.5);

} else if (unitedgold) {

    yourescrewed=1;

    upgradeprobability=0.001f;

    bumpprobability=0.10f*(1-premiumeconomy*0.5);

} else if (unitedsilver) {

    yourescrewed=2;

    upgradeprobability=0.000001f;

    bumpprobability=0.10f;

} else if (any_other_schmuck) {

    yourescrewed=NaN;

    go_f_yourself=1*(united_basic_economy);

    assault_probability=0.01f;

    upgradeprobability=0.0f;

    bumpprobability=0.20f;

    baggage_fees=1;

}