I see myself as someone who's really interested in programming, and computer science more broadly. Like the kind of person who's into it more as a hobby than a career choice; I was
almost one of those kids who start hacking when they're eight. But while I know I am really interested in that stuff, most of the time I just stare at the wall when I take my laptop to Starbucks.
Again, it's not that I'm not interested in it. Most of the time, I just have this insurmountable mental block. I don't know if it's depression, or what, but it's not merely a lack of energy. Many days I can barely even read; my brain just won't process the words on the page, or on the screen. The occasional, completely random good days I have are marked not only by energy, but mental clarity. Most of the time there's like an ugly fog hanging over my head. When that fog isn't there I'm a twenty-five year old version of that curious eight year old hacker, but when it's there I just stare at the wall.
I've tried all kinds of things, except professional help, which I can't really do right now because of reasons: vitamins, caffeine, no caffeine, exercise, meditation, not eating carbs, getting more sunlight. None of it works. Maybe someone can point me in the right direction?
Again, it's not that I'm not interested in it. Most of the time, I just have this insurmountable mental block. I don't know if it's depression, or what, but it's not merely a lack of energy. Many days I can barely even read; my brain just won't process the words on the page, or on the screen. The occasional, completely random good days I have are marked not only by energy, but mental clarity. Most of the time there's like an ugly fog hanging over my head. When that fog isn't there I'm a twenty-five year old version of that curious eight year old hacker, but when it's there I just stare at the wall.
I've tried all kinds of things, except professional help, which I can't really do right now because of reasons: vitamins, caffeine, no caffeine, exercise, meditation, not eating carbs, getting more sunlight. None of it works. Maybe someone can point me in the right direction?