Ask HN: What happened to the ORM?

After all those years, I sometimes feel like the whole ORM thing hasn't made progress or been settled. Which ORMs do you like and what do you like about them? What is the sweet spot? I'm asking this because database I/O has always been my biggest frustration when doing application programming. These days, I do more functional programming and tend to side with the ORM haters but I do occasionally wish I could just abstract out the database more. Anyways, I'd just like to hear HN's thoughts on this.