I am a mid 20s white male who has been afforded immense privilege in life. I am outwardly extremely confident and able to get what I want. I have dozens of opportunities in front of me, more than 99% of people. Yet instead of being grateful for these opportunities, I feel like I do not deserve them. As a result, I frequently begin an endeavor, see some initial success, but then self destruct just prior to an inflection point, thus destroying any chance of future success.
This happens everywhere. School, athletics, relationships, businesses. Because I feel I do not deserve what I have, I self-destruct before I can take anything to the next level. It seems to be a subconscious attempt at equalizing my reality with what I feel I deserve.
I believe the cause of this is overthinking everything. I am analytical and often overzealous in my choice of analysis. I feel like I am observing myself from the third person. What I see, I don't like.
How do I get over this self-loathing? Do I need to stop overthinking? Is that even possible? Do I just need to accept this state of mind and seize control of it?
This happens everywhere. School, athletics, relationships, businesses. Because I feel I do not deserve what I have, I self-destruct before I can take anything to the next level. It seems to be a subconscious attempt at equalizing my reality with what I feel I deserve.
I believe the cause of this is overthinking everything. I am analytical and often overzealous in my choice of analysis. I feel like I am observing myself from the third person. What I see, I don't like.
How do I get over this self-loathing? Do I need to stop overthinking? Is that even possible? Do I just need to accept this state of mind and seize control of it?