There was a recent post on HN about marriage. An insightful hacker commented:
What ends up happening is sooner or later one ends up pulling dating partners from eccentric and probably unhealthy places. And the ones most willing to engage have their own reasons for seeking out a lonely programmer.
Generically, bad places to pull a spouse from: online dating sites/apps, bars, concerts, large parties, etc. Just about anywhere that attracts people from a variety of social strata and offers zero curation for common values, education or habits of mind, and/or doesn't sort people in any way based on useful proxies for those things.
The trouble is that those sources are tempting if you are socially isolated (from the opposite gender) and perceive yourself to have few options, and/or because you're lazy or fatigued from the ever-frustrating chase.
Always bad? No. But the median outcome is going to be worse than with other, more enlightened dating strategies.
When asked what are some enlightened dating strategies, he replied: If I had a good answer for you, my own life might have gone differently.
I find myself in the same situation, and probably I'm not the only one. 37 years old, been 8 years at dancing classes & parties (mostly salsa), which resulted in various short-term relationships.
What dating advice/strategies do you have for software engineers aiming to establish a family? I'm even considering Facebook ads, with the risk of getting my face known by all single women in the city.
Much appreciated.
What ends up happening is sooner or later one ends up pulling dating partners from eccentric and probably unhealthy places. And the ones most willing to engage have their own reasons for seeking out a lonely programmer.
Generically, bad places to pull a spouse from: online dating sites/apps, bars, concerts, large parties, etc. Just about anywhere that attracts people from a variety of social strata and offers zero curation for common values, education or habits of mind, and/or doesn't sort people in any way based on useful proxies for those things. The trouble is that those sources are tempting if you are socially isolated (from the opposite gender) and perceive yourself to have few options, and/or because you're lazy or fatigued from the ever-frustrating chase.
Always bad? No. But the median outcome is going to be worse than with other, more enlightened dating strategies.
When asked what are some enlightened dating strategies, he replied: If I had a good answer for you, my own life might have gone differently.
I find myself in the same situation, and probably I'm not the only one. 37 years old, been 8 years at dancing classes & parties (mostly salsa), which resulted in various short-term relationships.
What dating advice/strategies do you have for software engineers aiming to establish a family? I'm even considering Facebook ads, with the risk of getting my face known by all single women in the city.
Much appreciated.