I'm an active member of this community but I'm using a throwaway instead because I don't want this issue to be linked to my identity
tl;dr: I graduated Software engineering 3 months ago and I'm currently without a job and back to live with my parents.
During school I was always told that I was "brilliant and one of the best". I tried not to show it with any attitude, but after a lot of people repeating over a period of many years, I think it entered the back of my mind but still with impostor syndrome.
On my final year I interned at a very prestigious company (not big 4, but still a huge one) with a great salary and an important project. Everything seemed to go the way everybody predicted and expected of me.
At the end of my internship, my manger lets me know that I will not be hired because the company is not hieing junior engineers at this time, but he would gladly recommend me to anyone.
I sent my resume to more than a 100 companies and I got a decent number of responses, interviews and even offers. However, all of the offer were with not-that-interesting tech stacks and really bad compensations.
For me it was not about the money, but a show of how much a company appreciate me and how they think of me.
I refused all the contracts so far, and the responses are fewer everyday. I'm eve, starting to regret not accepting a couple of them, after all this is maybe what i'm really worth and I was in a bubble all that time.
A few weeks ago I realized that I was gaining weight, and that I'm no longer interested in social interactions or my hygiene.
I told my family that, i got laughed at and was asked to find a job and stop being spoiled and lazy.
I don't know what to do.
Pick the next offer I get because there may not be another? See a professional about my current mental health?
I realize that this is more an anonymous rant than an Ask HN but I have no one else to ask
tl;dr: I graduated Software engineering 3 months ago and I'm currently without a job and back to live with my parents.
During school I was always told that I was "brilliant and one of the best". I tried not to show it with any attitude, but after a lot of people repeating over a period of many years, I think it entered the back of my mind but still with impostor syndrome.
On my final year I interned at a very prestigious company (not big 4, but still a huge one) with a great salary and an important project. Everything seemed to go the way everybody predicted and expected of me.
At the end of my internship, my manger lets me know that I will not be hired because the company is not hieing junior engineers at this time, but he would gladly recommend me to anyone.
I sent my resume to more than a 100 companies and I got a decent number of responses, interviews and even offers. However, all of the offer were with not-that-interesting tech stacks and really bad compensations.
For me it was not about the money, but a show of how much a company appreciate me and how they think of me.
I refused all the contracts so far, and the responses are fewer everyday. I'm eve, starting to regret not accepting a couple of them, after all this is maybe what i'm really worth and I was in a bubble all that time.
A few weeks ago I realized that I was gaining weight, and that I'm no longer interested in social interactions or my hygiene.
I told my family that, i got laughed at and was asked to find a job and stop being spoiled and lazy.
I don't know what to do.
Pick the next offer I get because there may not be another? See a professional about my current mental health?
I realize that this is more an anonymous rant than an Ask HN but I have no one else to ask