>when you tell them that it's in fact voluntary, but compulsory they tend to downplay it and wonder why you just don't stop
It sounds like you should find another way to explain things. "Voluntary" and "compulsory" are in their usual meanings contradictory, muutually exclusive, impossible for one action to be both. So it's no wonder that people get confused when you tell them it's "voluntary". I understand what you experience may be hard to put into words, but maybe you could find some way that at least avoids this confusion.
It sounds like you should find another way to explain things. "Voluntary" and "compulsory" are in their usual meanings contradictory, muutually exclusive, impossible for one action to be both. So it's no wonder that people get confused when you tell them it's "voluntary". I understand what you experience may be hard to put into words, but maybe you could find some way that at least avoids this confusion.