>What the shit does that even mean, fire fast? Should I fire people four minutes after I hire them? That’ll show ‘em!
My suggestion is to remove all sentences like the above from the essay. The "four minutes" sounds juvenile or coy (or combination of both).
Are there reasonable adults out there who have no idea what the "fast" in "fire fast" actually means? If not, don't insult your audience with a caricature. Demonstrate that you have some perspective so readers can focus on the stronger parts of your commentary.
The essay is almost 10,000 words long and stumbling across that sentence doesn't entice me to commit the time and read the rest of it.
My suggestion is to remove all sentences like the above from the essay. The "four minutes" sounds juvenile or coy (or combination of both).
Are there reasonable adults out there who have no idea what the "fast" in "fire fast" actually means? If not, don't insult your audience with a caricature. Demonstrate that you have some perspective so readers can focus on the stronger parts of your commentary.
The essay is almost 10,000 words long and stumbling across that sentence doesn't entice me to commit the time and read the rest of it.